Too Good Not to Blog It...

After a long absence there have been some recent events in my life that have made it clear that I must return to the blogging world.

Let me start with a great story...

Many of you know the infamous Israel stories such as "I tried to do that to a dog one time", "The golfing explosion", "The bubble gum mishap", I could go on...

This one may surpass all the others...

It all began on a mountain top overlooking Kraljevo, Serbia.
We were having a great time looking over the city with great friends.  It was a really cool place that we look forward to visiting again.  We went to "The Cross" as they call for a quick drink and to take in the view before we left town.  As we headed back down the one lane road we met a monk in a Yugo...seriously...he had to back down the road a ways until he could pull over enough for our two big vans to screech past him.  About halfway down Trey and I looked at each other with that, "Oh no, I think something is wrong" look.

Yes, something was wrong...a flat tire on a one lane two way gravel road with barely enough room to get the door open.  We continued on down...very carefully, praying not to damage the rim.  We made it to a flat place and pulled over.  Josh and Kristen turned around and came back to help us.  After about and hour and a half of fighting with a tire, the help of two guys on a motor bike, a hammer and chisel, and a really nice man from the Hyundai place down the road, we were back on our way.  All the kids were disappointed because we were thinking we were stuck and might have to have the car towed (or spidered as we do it here in Serbia) and some major work done on the wheel.  They all wanted to extend the visit, and if we had been stuck it would have been a super excuse to hang out longer with the Hepners who we just don't get to spend enough time with.

After a quick stop on the way out of town to air up the spare and buy some drinks for the road Trey looked at me and said, "Well that sure was crazy".

My response was, "You don't know the half of it!"

He looked puzzled and asked what I was talking about.

And the real story begins...

Just as we realized we had car trouble I was becoming aware of my own trouble.  Immediately upon stopping the car I was in urgent and immediate need of a toilet.  As I reached into the glove box for some of the emergency toilet paper and began heading down the dirt road away from the car, Kristen saw me and asked if she needed to drive me back up the hill.  All I had time to say as I walked away was that there wasn't time.

I kept hoping to find a nice little secluded area for my first ever squatting in the woods experience, but alas, time did not allow, and as I was situated about six inches off the path I prayed that the people who lived in that little house would not need to walk into town or have any visitors in the next few minutes.  Just as things were getting better and I felt like the trauma was over I felt it...a HORRIBLE pain in the butt!  I had been stung!  By some terrible creature who, when I reached back in shock, got my finger too.

I couldn't see the site of the sting, nor did I ever see what had gotten me.  I just knew my left cheek was on fire!

I headed back up the road, telling no one of the injury that had been added to my insulting situation.  I mean really, what could anyone do?

Kristen and I were walking around with the kids and chatting as the boys were fighting a losing battle with the lug nuts.  Her little one reached down to pick up some rocks and she said, "Oh no, Josiah, be careful.  That is fire weed.  It will hurt!"

Hmmm.  I thought, fire weed..."Kristen, what is fire weed?", I asked.

"Well, it's this terrible plant that if you brush up against it will cause great pain." she replied.

I asked, "Does it feel like you've been stung, and then like you are on fire, and then does it tingle and make you want to cry?"

"Yes!" she said, "Oh no, where did it get you?"

I said, "On my booty!"

We both died laughing.  She told me it would feel better in a few hours and not to put water on it, even though it might seem like it might help.  It did feel better a few hours later.

There is nothing like a three hour ride home sitting on your firey fanny.

I shared the story with a friend on the phone as we drove and she told be she'd pray for my hiney.  I've never had anyone say that to me before, and I've never been so grateful for a friend who will lift up your every need.

You'll all be grateful that there are no photos to go along with this post. ;)